Mental Loan

Today’s Mental Loan issue features journalist Ashley Oerman, who is healing from a dysfunctional relationship with her mom thanks, immensely, to therapy. Therapy helped Oerman acknowledge the weight of her mom’s treatment, voice concerns directly to the source, set boundaries, and ultimately go low-contact. Working with a therapist also kick-started her grieving process. She harnessed that progress, flexed her journalism skills, and wrote “Motherf*cked,” out April 28. It’s a self-help book supported by research and interviews with mental health professionals, enhanced by Oerman’s anecdotes. Aside from being a crash course on dysfunctional relationships with mothers, “Motherf*cked” is interactive. It’s full of quizzes such as “What’s Your Attachment Style to Your Mom?” and “Am I Healed Yet?”—plus a “Choose Your Own Sad-Venture” flowchart for grief. In other words, you won’t just learn about categories of maltreatment, why mom-based connection (or lack thereof) impacts us so deeply, and how to heal. You’ll also, hopefully, apply what you learn to *your* mother-child dynamic. “The thing that I want people to take away from my book and this interview … is you are not alone. [Feeling alone] got in the way of being able to accept my relationship with my mom for what it was. I felt like it was a defect in me,” Oerman notes. Truth is, “there are so many different extents in which you can have a complicated relationship with your mom, and, whether it’s on one extreme or the other or in between, it happens to so many people,” she adds. Read the full article here: https://lnkd.in/g8YxMgMR And, while you're at it, preorder the book!

Is your Notes app a treasure trove of golden info from therapy? Within my mental health Substack, Mental Loan, I recently launched a "Therapy Notes" series. In it, I aim to serve therapy-sponsored wisdom—something insightful, interesting, perspective-shifting, etc.—that I or others* wrote down during a session. It’s meant to be an inside look at therapy-assisted mental health journeys and the phrases, education, and exercises that make a real difference. *If you want to share a Notes-app reminder or an on-paper lesson you documented in therapy, please fill out this quick questionnaire: https://lnkd.in/eweKGDpE. Or, comment below / DM me! Let's (responsibly, positively) peel back the curtain on therapy...together. ❤️

Turns out, both teachers and therapists endorse this communication hack. Have you tried it?

This morning, I launched Therapy Notes on my Substack, Mental Loan. In this series, I'll serve therapy-sponsored wisdom—something insightful, interesting, perspective-shifting, etc.—that I or others* jotted down during a session. It’s meant to be an inside look at therapy-assisted mental health journeys and the phrases, education, and exercises that make a real difference. (It's also another way to give subscribers and readers mental health content when I don’t have full therapy-goer or therapist articles lined up for Mental Loan. A win-win!) Today's Therapy Notes installment focuses on a reminder I wrote down mid-session about being way more capable than anxiety wants me to believe. Give it a read: https://lnkd.in/gMSCz9je *If you want to share a Notes-app reminder or on-paper lesson you documented in therapy, email mental.loan@gmail.com with the subject line, “Therapy Notes.” We can coordinate on coverage—and I won’t disclose your identity if you don’t want me to.

One of my favorite mental health wins came from therapist Chris Warren-Dickins LLB MA LPC. He shared: “In March, I found out my best friend, Nicola, had pancreatic cancer. She passed away in September at only 56 years old. She held me as a newborn baby—that’s how long we’ve been each other’s ride or dies. Saying goodbye to her was mind-blowing. As a therapist, you somehow need to set aside your grief and focus on your clients, which can be difficult when they’re sharing their own struggles. However, what I have always known, and what Nicola’s death reminded me, is that our distress is interwoven with the distress of others—and so is our capacity to heal. My mental health win in 2025 was learning to cope with grief and tap into gratitude despite how horrible Nicola’s passing was. I still get desperately sad when I wonder where her love and wicked sense of humor has gone. It is hard to accept that I might never get an answer, but I received a renewed sense of gratitude for all that I have left. Most importantly, I have the opportunity and capability to connect to, learn from, and heal with others.” Read 10 other therapists' mental health wins of 2025: https://lnkd.in/gxR4TY_b

2025 was the year Genesis Reyes started both individual and couples counseling. In today's issue of Mental Loan, she shares what it was like going from a therapy rookie to a double regular! (https://lnkd.in/gjNCde6m)

For my next Mental Loan issue, I'm looking to speak with people who started therapy for the first time in 2025 (or re-started it this year after a break). If this is you, drop a comment or a DM (alternative means of contact: email is brodskysam@gmail.com and/or mental.loan@gmail.com). 🫶

I get personal in the latest issue of Mental Loan. I delve into why going through brain surgery in January to remove a seizure-causing mass of blood vessels gave me a better relationship with my long-standing health anxiety. Random sensations and aches don’t feel as urgent, and I’m more confident that I can handle hardship overall. This decrease in health anxiety tracks, according to experts I interviewed. Of course, for some people, a diagnosis or medical issue will prompt new fears, but alarm bells that used to blare for minor symptoms are quieter now. And I feel capable of navigating other health scares or diagnoses. Hope this resonates! https://lnkd.in/eaT4JzMR

In this issue of Mental Loan, I heard from eight therapy-goers about a memorable lesson or tool they each learned. They touched on visualization, self-compassion, and helpful reframes that have stuck with them. https://lnkd.in/evCDAEAv